air war

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winonawee:
“ i never gave you sweet nicknames because i was never strong enough to;
my eyes are bitter and yours are
well rounded, reflective- they gleam
when you smile but only
right before you
purse your lips and hide your nervous laughter with...

i never gave you sweet nicknames because i was never strong enough to;
my eyes are bitter and yours are
well rounded, reflective- they gleam
when you smile but only
right before you
purse your lips and hide your nervous laughter with your hands
(a sign of the strength you’ve cultivated)
you were always better with both
people and words
putting soul into your ink
without even trying.
you were never muted,
you never
thought it necessary to
dumb down for the fools
that flocked toward anything of value
you learnt quietly how to
grip your own soul
to wrap it around
your own body
and even if you faltered
you were rooted, still, to what made sense to you
i’m still learning to do all the things that you already can. I am rebuilding my Self every year.
I am sorry that I ever turned my back for a second. I am sorry I could not find the words to say or the things to do to see your mischievous grin or the same smile in that Photobooth picture from 2011 but know this: I love you and I will not leave you. do not ever be ashamed to see the world because your soul is beautiful and like i said on your 19th birthday, once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand. and you are so alarmingly real.
tessa | winona wee